Pray to the lord, a new martyr has emerged.

Smoking has taken on the worst of reputations over the past couple of decades and I am ecstatic that it may soon be taking a well-deserved back seat. The banishment of smoking from any and every public place possible has had a magnificently ridiculous run, but the evil gaze of attention is moving on. Smoking is a choice and choices are narrowing in our fair country. If one enjoys to smoke, let them smoke. It’s not like alcohol is still under prohibition anymore, why has smoking been thrown under the bus when the consequences and medical problems are just as dire? While this is another argument that will be tackled soon, it comes down to humans always looking for something new to blame so they can avert their attention from mortality.

Beyond the secondary benefit of smoking no longer being in the axis of evil, the greatest part about these findings is that all of the low-self esteem, needy people who’ve been glued to their cell phones, and apparently starved of nurturing, are causing more damage than those that like to chill out and light up a Camel.

I’ll take black lungs over a softball sized rock in my brain any day.

So while the convenience of cell phones can be advantageous, especially in emergency situations, there is hope that people might heed the results of this study and put down the damn phone.

No more half-wits ruining their half-witted brain on the cell while they’re flying down the freeway going 90 in their half-witted SUV.

No more pedestrians ambling into traffic because they were too busy calling everyone they could within the small window of time they had, only in a thinly veiled attempt to reaffirm their self-worth which isn’t there anyhow.

No more people yelling into their cell like they’re in the middle of a godforsaken war zone when in all actuality they’re navigating, poorly, a cart in the vegetable aisle at the grocery store.

All of you fiending for your mobile communications device may need to pick up smoking to get over the wretched case of withdrawal you’re going to be diving into. You thought your phone ghost-vibrating in your pocket was bad, try not lodging the phone up to your ear with a hungry tumor in there.

To wrap it all up, everything is killing you, live in fear, don’t go anywhere, don’t try anything, and start stocking up for the apocalypse. Or not, your choice.

Automobiles used to be a getaway from it all, an escape for young and old. A Sunday afternoon drive to scope the countryside, spend time with family, enjoy your car. A means of escape for teenagers so that they can develop their own lives, their own identity. A vehicle on so many different levels that facilitates the growing of our burgeoning economy. The automobile fits many different molds. Everything from art form, a utilitarian work machine, to a cultural icon. Yet, it’s beauty and usefulness is beginning to destroy all of us.

The obvious concern upfront right now is the depletion of the oil reserves in the world. The U.S. has been declining on its oil production since the 1970’s and the crisis that followed illustrates what is happening now all around the world. The oil supply of our planet is finite and the prices are reiterating that. Our innate need for oil and our current lifestyle has led us into a ridiculous war that is based solely on extending the period of this lifestyle. The shackles are on us at this point as it is clear that we will never be able to sustain our American way of drive everywhere, ask questions later.

On a smaller scale than economic collapse, the automobile has also provided a means for the police to search and seize anyone they please. While this seems like a smaller problem than the complete transformation of civilization, it is not such a gross overstatement when you consult the intentions of America as a country. We are supposed to be free to live our own lives, but constricting drug laws and the complete erosion of personal privacy have left the government in a totalitarian like state. So much for democracy. You can be pulled over for any reason, searched for any reason, and upon the ridiculous laws that these half-wits enforce, arrested for any reason.

There was a time when cruising a big automobile around town was an American staple. Nowadays, I’d recommend walking or staying home altogether. The police can stop you and search you for no reason beyond the fact that you are operating a vehicle. In this vehicle, you can be stopped for looking like something they want to make money off of. Whether it be different (drug addict), a minority (criminal/terrorist), or nothing at all, why do we have to be subjected to this for no reason?

Allowing power-hungry half-wits to enforce our backwards laws has eroded what America is supposed to be. We’re supposed to be free to live the lifestyle we choose. We’re supposed to be free to live whatever life we wish. We’re supposed to be able to cruise in our cars and enjoy it.

But reality is a little more vicious than American ideals: We’re supposed to accept and take it up the tailpipe.

As civilization picked up steam in the 20^th century, various art forms sprouted while others changed shape. The shift of music as a live performance art to something that can be possessed in one’s car, home, or mp3 player is quite the drastic change. Most don’t think of it that way, but the easy access takes away nonetheless. It’s like seeing the Mona Lisa on a t-shirt everyday, it’s not quite the same as seeing it in person. Granted, this is the way technology has taken us. And don’t get me wrong, I love having music at my fingertips. But when is enough enough?

Having music at your disposal has become second nature for most people when it used to be nothing more than a single event, a night out. You can go see concerts now, but it has become a bolstering aspect of the industry, not music as a whole. Just think about how much more exhilirating that show would have been if you hadn’t known everything coming into it? The TV advertisement playing their song, the comical Billboard charts, and the basest, visual appeal, are coercing people to purchase music and go to these concerts, all for none of the right reasons. Through this, music has become nothing more than a commodity, much like a cup of coffee. And just like that coffee, it can be thrown away the instant you’re done with it. Had it been a live performance, the only option back when integrity was a fairly common human trait, it would be something to carry with you forever through memory, for good or ill. Capitalism and profiteering has morphed music into another dispensable good, like any other product that can be discarded, recycled, or misused. The specific issue of profits has made the pool of music out there as a whole, a giant cesspool of shame and guilt.

If you don’t have something original to offer, put any effort into it, or even write your own music, what the hell are you trying to do pawning yourself off as a musician? You’re not an artist, you’re a hack. You’re a hack and you’re a puppet. Go fetch me a coffee and a Krispy Kreme, that’ll be a career you’re more suited for, considering all you’ve done thus far is take orders.

Once again, another don’t get me wrong moment. There are quality artists creating groundbreaking music. I keep myself happy and scouring for new, quality music is enjoyable. It’s accepted that things are going the way they are and that’s fine. But the most accessible music out there is the profit-factory manufactured trash being pasted on some sellable face. It takes time and dedication to find the true artists, the true musicians, the true people. The ones that matter.

If you’d like suggestions, I’m more than willing to dole them out. There are good things happening right now, there is hope. The behemoth known as the music industry is dying and in the near future the people will be able to decide what is good, rather than being bombarded by our money hungry culture with another lackey that’s their next big thing that has no soul. No more corporate phonies, let the music speak for itself.

Support your artists, local and elsewhere.

The oruroboros is an ancient symbol depicting a serpent devouring it’s own tail. While it has come to represent many different concepts throughout time, such as unity or infinity, I find that cyclicality is the most pertinent to humanity and more specifically, our modern times. Whatever aspect of civilized mankind you wish to highlight, the image of a snake consuming itself seems all too fitting a symbol. Not so metaphorically, humanity is chasing it’s own tail, biting itself in the ass, and repeating the same mistakes as if they had never occurred, and I’m looking to capitalize on said obvious metaphor with a series of upcoming articles.

I traveled on considering this individual who remains oblivious to his surroundings. With no interruption to his conversation, I’m assuming there is a definitive lack of remorse on his end. A turn signal would have been nice, but to completely ignore braking until the last moment doesn’t give one much time. How about common courtesy? Human decency? A concern for other drivers? Failing to inform me what he was about to do with the 5000 lb vehicle he was half-ass operating comes off like he has more important things to do than drive. It would seem that warning me would be too much of an inconvenience to his busy schedule of not driving, so why bother letting others know what’s going on, it’s not like I was on the other line of his call or something.

Maybe I’m old fashioned and asking way too much of the general public, but does anyone use their turn signal anymore? Is this going to be the next design evolution of the automobile? No turn signals? If current trends make design decisions, I’m starting to feel that the automotive manufacturers have absolutely no reason to include such unnecessary lighting fixtures. The orange, blinking lights indicating an intended direction of travel are none the less going the wayside, much like other useless accessories and innovations as the tailfins, the whitewall tire, fuel economy, reasonable size, competent pilots, and the crank starter. Can’t get any more use out of these things, time to move on.

If the brake light is set off well before you launch into a turn lane, what’s the point of either light? Better question? Was either light even used? I’m sure whoever you’re talking to on your cell is of the utmost of importance, and can only be corralled while you’re in the midst of navigating a two-ton machine, but tell me, what are your real priorities? Your attention could obviously be divided into a more reasonable figure. Or you can be a cowboy and pile even more menial tasks on there. Try crossword puzzles, origami, shotgun polishing, shaving, masturbation. (Now that’s what I’d call impressive multi-tasking.) Yet, doesn’t keeping constant human contact make more sense while you’re stuck in traffic? Stuck in traffic with a million of your best friends stuck in their million vehicles for a million hours in a lifetime? While the need to get twice as many things done as possible is the goal of our money driven culture, is this push to cram too much shit into our everyday lives the epitome of American life? Music, fast-food, coffee, and a conversation while commuting?

Studies confirm that multi-tasking while driving has derogatory effects on driving performance. Attention levels are staggeringly down while driving and with most American’s having an attention span of less than 7 seconds, this is quite the feat. A cell-phone conversation that places the driver outside of their vehicle brings this to a whole new level. While it is frustrating to have to deal with no turn signal, late brake lights, and general disregard for traffic laws and human life, it is ultimately sickening to deal with such misjudgment when it is blamed on something as simple as someone’s desperate need to reaffirm their self-esteem via constant human contact. (Note: The human brain is capable of more than hearing nonsensical chatter and vomiting pointless banter.)

I am an auto enthusiast and I enjoy driving fast and hard more than anything. I drive within the limits of my ability and within the laws that govern where I’m at. I drive manual transmissions exclusively and there isn’t anything in this world that can match flying through six gears effortlessly as the tach teases the redline time after time. I’m not somebody that races on city streets or tries to beat you off of the red light like some teenage asshole. I just enjoy driving for the pure sake of driving. Driving as an art form, as an extension of human abilities and as a means of catharsis through the freedom allowed; this is what the automobile intended to mean to America. I’m truly sick of clueless people manning behemoth SUV’s and ruining not only my driving experience, but also recklessly putting other peoples lives in danger with no conception of the ramifications. While Darwin hypothesized that gene pools useless to biological advancement will be weeded out to protect beneficial traits from being watered down, I cannot justify some dickhead in an Escalade taking innocent subjects with them to the graveyard of physiological mistakes, the latter is valuable, the former a disgrace.

It is time to hang up the phone. It’s time to start driving again. I love driving and I love cars, but if they continue to get neglected and misused like this, I think it’s time to start taking the train to work. Drive Considerately.

I’m hoping to unearth the root of our unhappiness, our downfalls, our world, and hopefully illuminate the bright, blinding glimpses that make all of this suffering worthwhile.  Through this process, I have a notion that we will all feel the pangs of question, change, expansion, and an involuntary urge to Root for Darwin.